Luna Negra (Book 2 of the Blanca Series)
by Nekomix79
Summary: Sequel to Luna Blanca. Grimmjow Jaggerjack is now human and has begun to lose his touch with reality after the loss of Orihime Inoue. He still wonders in his heart if she is truly dead. An incredible story of family and an impossible love. Rated M for language, violence, and sexual content
1. White Pain

Luna Negra

。。。ルナ·ネグラ。。。

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Chapter 1: White Pain

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Blue eyes fluttered open. He sat up, falling on his hands. his chest heaved as he breathed heavily, hair in his eyes. He slowly looked up.

Everything was white. Everything. There was no ending, nor beginning. There were no walls, just empty space. His eyes trailed back and forth. He slowly dropped his head, not bothering to ask questions.

"Grimmjow?"

His head shot up. He looked behind him, taking a breath with wide eyes.

She stood there, in a white dress, smiling sweetly. "Orihime."

He looked at her, breathing shakily. He winced, looking down. "Am I dead?"

"It depends on..." She bent down in front of him "how you feel."

He wanted to touch her, he wanted to touch her so badly.

"Touch me." She whispered, smiling sweetly. She extended her palm. He reached out with a shaky limb, and she watched his hand.

"Do you love me?

He looked up at her. He opened and closed his mouth, his whole being threatening to crumble. He nodded his head. "Hai." It came out high pitched and ragged.

When he was about to touch her, something stopped him. He looked down to see that his wrists were shackled. He grunted, trying again. He yanked on them, but they wouldn't budge.

Her smile faltered. "Oh." He watched her stand up.

"So you don't love me."

"No! No!" He pulled on his chains. "I love you! Stay! Stay here with me."

"But Grimmjow...you let me die."

He stopped. His blood running cold. "D-don't...don't say that..."

"How could you love a corpse?"

"I'LL LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT!" Grimmjow screamed at her, struggling violently against his chains. He was getting desperate, all he wanted to do was touch her again.

"Then..." She looked down sadly. "I guess, You can try." She turned around, and began walking away.

"Where...where are you going?!"

"Come back! ORIHIME!" He struggled, his feet digging into the ground as he growled furiously.

"I want to..." He watched her walk away, her form getting tinier and tinier. This couldn't be happening. She was actually leaving him. He didn't even get to touch her.

"Touch you..."

He gasped raggedly, watching her go. He couldn't hear anything. Just his uneven, heavy breathing echoing in his head. The image kept flickering back and forth.

Him. Orihime. Him. Orihime. Him. Orihime. him, Orihime, him, Orihime.

Distance. Distance...

He sucked in air, filling his lungs and screaming as hard as he could.

**Luna de Negro**

Opening: Hometown Glory

Copy Link:

.fm/music/Adele/_/Hometown+Glory

He screamed, the oxygen mask muffling his yells, doctors swarmed him. "He's awake! The Espada is awake!" A loud rapid beeping noise sounded from the monitor as he struggled. Cords and machines were stuck to him, the mask feeding him oxygen. He kept yelling, completely spooked out of his mind.

Where was she? She was gone!

He was strapped to the bed, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't escape.

"He's out of control! Tranquilliser! We need a dose of-"

Sweat poured down his face as he blinked rapidly, shaking his head back and forth. Everything was blurry and put of proportion, just as his breathing was.

He felt something stick him in the neck. He jerked about a bit more, his movements slowing. He was breathing hard, images getting blurry. His eyes rolled back, and his head drooped to the side.

XxX

Grimmjow woke up in a room. He opened his eyes, and they wandered around the room. A small bedside table, a lamp, and blandly painted walls.

A woman opened the door and stepped inside, closing it behind her. "Jaggerjacques-San." He sat up numbly. "It is good to see you awake and moving." She commented.

His eyes trailed upwards, meeting her eyes dully. She was a shinigami nurse.

She cleared her throat. "You've been asleep for two years."

He narrowed his tired eyes.

"You nearly died of blood loss and a heart attack, but we were able to fix you up." She smiled slightly. He looked down to see bandages wrapped around his bare chest.

"You are no longer a hollow, Mr. Jaggerjacques. Head Captain Yamamoto has agreed to keep you in rehabilitation."

Grimmjow slowly got up, wincing once his bare feet touched the floor. He looked down to see he was wearing baggy, white pants.

He went to take a step, grunting in surprise when he immediately crumbled to the ground. He stopped himself with his arms, feeling an ache spread to his shoulder blades. the nurse scurried over to help him, but he shot her a warning glance. She stepped back, watching him struggle to get up.

"You were just in a coma and lost a lot of weight, no one expects you to be up and running." She explained to him softly.

He lay his hands on the bed, staring at the white fabric and getting used to his throbbing muscles.

He slowly began to move again, pushing past the wheelchair that was waiting for him in the doorway. He limped to the other side of the room, settling with a walking stick, and hiding the pain that shot up his legs with each step.

He pushed open the doorstep the outside hallway, and felt the sun hit his face. He squinted, practically hobbling down the hall. People stopped and stared at him as he limped pass.

"Yeah, that's the arrancar."  
"It's that Espada! Look at the six on his back!"  
"Hollow scum."  
"I hear he's useless now, he's all human."

Grimmjow kept looking straight ahead. He couldn't hear them; he felt totally brain dead. It was just the process. One foot in front of the other, numbly. His bare feet touched the grass, and he could feel the blades of green between his toes. He slowly looked up at the blue sky, squinting. The wind softly blew, rustling his loose hair.

He wasn't himself. He knew that. He knew he had lost.

"Wait what the..." A voice sounded in the distance. A splotch of orange stood out in the scenery

"Oh God! It's Grimmjow!" Ichigo grabbed Rukia's arm and pointed. "Rukia! Rukia He's awake!"

They ran over. "Grimmjow!"

Grimmjow dug his crutch into the grass, continuing on as if he had never heard. "Hey, Grimmjow!" Grimmjow began to limp away. Ichigo and Rukia caught up with him, panting slightly. Ichigo put his hand on Grimmjow's bare shoulder, making him tense up. He turned around.

"Ichigo...Kurosaki?"

Ichigo was taken aback. "Y-yeah..." He looked into his eyes, and saw that there was no evil glint, or malicious laughter, or even hints of sarcasm. In fact, there was nothing.

Grimmjow watched him with tired, empty blue orbs. A gust of wind passed, shaking the grass and their clothes. Grimmjow turned to leave, limping away.

"Grimmjow, what happened?" Ichigo asked him, true worry and fear on his features.

Grimmjow stopped, turning around. He parted his cracked lips. Ichigo's eyes widened at the face Grimmjow made at him. Grimmjow put his hand to his face, pulling back to see tears on his hand. He cursed, turning around and wiping his eyes furiously, limping away.

"G-Grimmjow!-"

"_Leave m_e." His voice was pained and raspy.

"Leave me alone."

Ichigo took a small step forward, angst in his eyes. "Grimmjow?"

Ichigo and Rukia both watched in shock as he limped painstakingly away.

Grimmjow had his head bowed as he walked, his fists clenched and his hair in his face. Swear poured down his jaw. He was breathing hard even though he wasn't tired. He was struggling to keep in his emotions, struggling to remain on this tiny plain of insanity, struggling to forget.

He couldn't. He couldn't do it.

His breathing became more elevated and ragged, until finally he yelled, slamming his fist into a nearby wall.

His whole body tensed, and he opened his eyes wide. He expected the wall to crumble or collapse, like he usually did when he let out his pent up anger. All there where was tiny spider web cracks making way from his fist. He slowly pulled away, looking at his hand. The skin immediately turned red, the top layer that was pulled off of his knuckles making blood flare around those areas. He gripped his wrist, shocked. He couldn't be this weak, could he? Why was he in so much pain?

_Because your human_, the voice in his head said.

XxX

Grimmjow stared at the mirror. He had stripped off his bandages.

He was pale, looking near emaciated. He had more scars. He had dark circles under his eyes. He just stared at the unknown figure in the mirror, silently.

They put him here. After he was all beaten and bloody, they put him in this tidy little place, with all its tidy little maids and nurses. Everything was so perfect. Everything was going to be just fine. _Just fine._

His face contorted, and he yelled out, smashing his fist in the mirror, shattering it instantly. The Blood immediately seeped out of his knuckles, reopening his wounds from earlier. More pain.

He ripped out the shower curtain just for the sake of it, kicking it angrily. Then he screamed because he could, slamming his hands on the sink.

He stepped back, his broad chest heaving.

He fell back against the wall, still breathing hard. He slid down the wall, lifting his head. His fingernails dug into his scalp, his hands covering his eyes. He shook, sobs racking his body. But this time, his eyes were completely dry.

He was so weak. But what was the point of being strong if you had no one to be strong for?

_He smiled at her naked form beneath his clothed one. "You make me weak, princess."_

Grimmjow gasped, looking up with red eyes

"_You make me strong." She whispered back._

Suddenly, an indescribable pain entered his head. He grasped his hair, beginning to yell in pain, eyes wide.

It was her.

He backed into metal rack, spilling its contents and holding his head as he fell to the floor, screaming as his entire body convulsed.

The nurses could hear his screams of pain from the hallway. They gasped in fear, rushing over.

"Neliel-San! Neliel!" A nurse yanked open her door. Nel tu Odershvank sat upright in bed, throwing off the covers. She couldn't see the nurses face but she could tell it was serious. "What's wrong?" She asked, the moonlight from her window casting dark shadows on her features.

"It's Grimmjow-San!"

Nel's eyes widened. "He's awake?!"

"Yes but there's something wrong with him!" She spoke frantically.

Nel rushed out the door, "come on!"

The hallway was dimly lit. "He-he just started screaming and holding his head, and he wouldn't respond to us!" The nurse continued as they both ran.

Nel could begin to hear his tortured yells as she neared the room, seeing the nurses huddled outside.

She pushed them aside, rushing inside. She stopped in the doorway to the bathroom, seeing Grimmjow screaming like there was no tommorow. Groans and yells escaped his throat as he convulsed on the bathroom floor. His hands covering his ears or clawing at his scalp.

The pain was horrible, it was the most terrifying hurt Grimmjow had ever felt. It was all in his head. The pain. The memories. It shot through his body like a circuit. The pain was so bad, he would rather just die there, at least he'd be with her.

Nel immediately rushed over, bending over on the broken glass. She grabbed his shoulders. "Grimmjow? Grimmjow it's me Nel, you're gonna be okay-"

He shook his head, screaming again, his bloodshot eyes staring straight at the cieling. She pushed him against a wall, sitting him against it.

"Look at me Grimmjow you're gonna be okay!" Nel choked. "You gotta listen to me-"

"Gah! AahhAH!" Grimmjow was fighting it, nearly ripping the hair out of his head. His head hit the wall, and he yelled again.

"Grimmjow!" Nel could feel tears streaming down her cheeks. "Grimmjow I'm here! I'm here! Just listen to my voice...listen to my voice and you'll be okay..."

He let pained sounds come from the back of his throat as he struggled to breath correctly, staying conscious.

He turned his head, looking at her with red, blank eyes. He was breathing hard, sweat rolling down his neck and face.

Green...he could see green...

The throbbing was beginning to subside, but Grimmjow was still panting like a worn out dog.

His vision began to slowly clear...and he saw a woman in front of him. Green hair, brown eyes, magenta markings..."

He winced and with some effort, spoke. "Nel..." He let the words leave his lips with difficulty.

"Yeah!" She smiled, tears flowing freely. She squeezed his arms "Yes, Grimmjow...you're gonna be alright, okay?"

He grunted with pain once more. He looked at her, and smiled with shaking muscles.

His smile was so terrible. It broke her heart. Everything about that smile was crooked and fake. It was a pitiful lie, an attempt to be better but failing miserablely. It was miserable. Him and his trembling, cracked lips.

She let out a little cry, grabbing him and smushing his exhausted body against hers in a frantic hug.

Grimmjow had really scared Nel. Pain was always something he could handle. Grimmjow was always tough, he always pulled through and never needed anyone's help. Now everyone was dead...and he...he had lost it...

Oh God. _Oh God..._

He almost immediately fell asleep against the back of her shoulder, even as she began to shake, and his head fell limply to the side as she cried into him.

"It's gonna be okay! We're gonna be okay Grimmjow!" Her voice was high-pitched and shaky. Her voice was muffled as she buried her nose into his bare shoulder. She sniffed. "We're gonna be just fine!" Grimmjow was asleep, not feeling the tears run down his back as they both sat in the broken, lonely bathroom. Her sobs filled the room.

_"...And I still love you. I miss you telling me that we would be together forever. That I was the one for you...And I still remember the promises, I remember them more than anything. And I can remember it like it was yesterday. You made me feel strong, important, whole, you made me believe. You made me believe someone could love me."_

_-s.f._

Ending- Soldier On

Copy link:

infectiousmusicuk/soldier-on-by-the-temper-trap

**Please tell me how you guys liked it•-•**

**Omfgosh I'm so excited.**

**I'm adding quotes at the end of each chapter, and I'm also putting links for the opening and ending songs, so click on them!**


	2. I am meant for insanity

Luna Negra

。。。ルナ·ネグラ。。。

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Chapter 2: I am meant for insanity

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Opening: Hometown Glory

Copy Link:

.fm/music/Adele/_/Hometown+Glory

Grimmjow and Nel sat side by side on the edge of the bed, staring at the wall in silence.

"Why are you alive?"  
He looked at her. She paused before speaking, "I had a minor stab wound in the left part of my stomach, Aizens reiatsu was really the thing that did the most damage."

"They said they found me laying there with a bunch of other dead arrancar, completely unconscious. I almost died of bloodless, it's pretty crazy that you and i actually survived."

"Are there...any survivors?" Grimmjow looked away. She sniffed. "I was in rehabilitation for several months, and I heard about a few arrancar escaping after they finished healing...they didn't really ...give me the details.

"Ah." Grimmjow winced, staring at the wall. Then he heard sniffles. He looked beside him to see Nel was hiding her face, shaking with poorly controlled tears. She suddenly let go, flying into his chest and weeping bitterly. He hugged her awkwardly back, surprised at her sudden change of mood.

"A-all of them! Almost all of them are gone!" Grimmjow narrowed his eyes. "H-Hallibel...a-and Szayel, Gin too!"

She began to cry harder. The door suddenly opened, and a nurse walked in with a food tray. Her eyes widened at the sight of the large man holding the crying girl. He gave her a deadly stare, gesturing to the door. She quickly, yet silently, scurried out, shutting the door.

Grimmjow had always seen Nel as a strong, yet feminine girl who seemed to have everything together. Why was she...

"And Pesche..." She swallowed hard, "and Dondachakka..." She Burst into tears again.

Ah. He understood. The fact that Pesche and Dondachakka, her dear fraccion, were gone had really hit home for her.

She shook her head, shaking with sobs. Grimmjow really did feel pain in that moment. Now that he was human, he saw some of the Espada as maybe not the best and most trustworthy of comrades, yet nonetheless, in the end, they had his back somewhat.

Because of Orihime.

He used to hold her like this. When she cried; just like this.

Grimmjow groaned, digging his forehead into Nels shoulder and shuddering. Her eyes widened.

"Grimmjow? Grimmjow?!" Her voice reached a higher pitch. "Im so sorry" she blurted. "I didn't mean..."

"It's not you." He whispered hoarsely. "Whenever I think..." He winced. "Whenever I think of her...I get this way." He whispered. "It's not your fault. It's not-" he grunted again, tensing as the pain shot through him again. Nel was breathing shakily, wrapping her arms around his back. She began blinking rapidly, trying to keep her tears away

Grimmjow sat on the cliff overlooking Seretei, the wind blowing in his face. His eyes were dulled; he wasn't thinking. Thinking nothing was good right now. He heard footsteps behind him. Ichigo sat down with Grimmjow, letting the breeze ruffle his clothing. They stared down at Seretei in silence for a minute or two.

"Grimmjow...I'm sorry." Grimmjow didn't respond.

"Grimmjow..." Ichigo looked at him, confusion and worry on his face. "What's wrong with you?what happened? What about all those times you said you were going to fight me...?"

Grimmjow continued to stare, not saying anything.

"Why? Why are you so sad?"

"Sad." Grimmjow suddenly choked. "That's real funny." He paused.

"I am twisted. I am so fucked up right now." He looked at Ichigo, a bitter, angry smile on his features. "I don't know _what_ sad is."

"I don't know what I'm feeling." It came out like a sob. Ichigo just watched him, dumbstruck and incapable of saying something to the ex-Espada.

"It's like you're in this deep hole, and you're clawing your way out..." He swallowed, "and the mud just keeps rolling in until your suffocating to death. But you don't die, you just keep suffocating." Grimmjow looked away, clenching his teeth.

Ichigo leaned in, his eyebrows furrowed. "Then why don't you find something that makes you happy and crawl out?!"

Grimmjow chuckled, nodding his head before looking at Ichigo. "Yea..."

"You know the worst feeling about being sad is?"

"Is that you don't even know...what makes you happy anymore."

"She..." His voice rose as he rubbed his temples. "She was my happiness." His voice cracked as he explained.

"And now the ghost of that happiness is at the top of that mud pit, watching me drown."

Grimmjow hadn't gotten over his limp yet. It was extremely difficult for him too walk, causing him to be stuck, wallowing in his own self pity. If you could even call it self pity...it was more of a muddle of emotions, and he was struggling, oh he was fighting so hard. But other days, he looked so lost. He looked like he had already died, like there was nothing.

Grimmjow was headed down the hallway to the lunch room, limping past a group of shinigami.

"Oh, lookie what we have here!" A mocking voice called. Grimmjow kept moving forward. "It's the pitiful little Espada scum!"  
A shinigami man with brown hair smirked, crossing his arms. Grimmjow acted as though he didn't hear.

"Still crying over your girlfriend?" He laughed, making some of the men chuckle too.

Grimmjow stopped moving.

"Your dead girlfriend? Huh?"

Grimmjow slowly stood up straight, letting his crutch fall to the ground.

"Whatcha gonna do pretty boy? Fight-"

Grimmjow connected his fist with the mans face, breaking his jaw and flinging blood out of his mouth. The other men gasped, noticing the wild look in his blue eyes. He slammed the mans head into the ground with his bare foot, breaking the tile. The man screamed whenever Grimmjow grabbed his wrist, viciously pulling his arm out of socket. He grabbed him by the collar, showing absolutely no mercy, punching him hard again, the blood flying on his shirt.

The shinigami stood frozen stiff, hearing twisted screams and cracks.

Finally, he took the mans head between both his arms, tensing his legs. With a jerk of his arms, Grimmjow snapped his neck, killing him instantly.

The group stepped back, eyes wide with horror.

Grimmjow let the man fall, his head cracked at an odd angle, blood streaming out of his hanging jaw, his arm twisted in the wrong direction. Grimmjow let his breathing return to normal.

Then he immediately, calmly, took his crutch and limped away. Everyone was shocked silent, moving out of his way as he limped to his original destination.

Rukia turned her head, her short black hair and lieutenant's badge shaking with the sudden movement. She saw a group of men huddled together, whispering nervously. She narrowed her eyes, fists clenched authoritatively as she walked across the yard to the shinigami.

She pushed herself in the circle, "What is going on here-" she gasped.

"Who did this?!" Rukia roared angrily, looking at the twisted body before her. The group of shinigami were still huddled around the corpse of their comrade, looking over at Rukia.

"Well?!" Rukia fumed. One of the men timidly responded. "It was that...that Espada, Lieutenant Kuchiki!"

Rukias eyes widened. "G-Grimmjow?!"

Grimmjow stared at his food. He couldn't eat. He didn't want to eat. To many emotions. To much dark. He numbly twirled the straw inside his juice box. Suddenly, guards burst into the room, yelling his name until they spotted him. They seized him by the arms, but he didn't fight it.

"You are to come with us to await judgement for the murder of a squad five member!"

Grimmjow couldn't really make out what he was saying, he didn't really care. They dragged him to that dark room, where the the entire council was present but their faces were blocked. He was bound by chains, standing alone in the middle of the room, surrounded by angry people with lots of power.

And he did nothing but stand still, drowning out every word, and falling into his own dark imagination.

They argued, they fought, Grimmjow would've laughed if he remembered how to. It was so pointless. They were humans. Humans were pointless. They just wouldn't stop screaming about things that wouldn't make any difference in the world. But now Grimmjow was one of them, he knew he could be different, just not now, not while he was like this.

"We let him live just so he could go off and kill one of us!"

"Even so, he could be a valuable asset-"

"We don't know what he's capable of-"

"It's a murder! It is obvious he must be punished!"

"He's a human!"

"This man deserves to die!"

"SILENCE!" A voice boomed, stopping the whole congregation.

Genryusai Yamamoto moved forward, slowly lifting his cane and pointing it inches from Grimmjows head. Grimmjow stood silent and unmoving.

"Let me ask you." Yamamoto began quietly. "Why,"  
"You killed this man?"

Grimmjow looked up, saying nothing. After several long moments, Genryusai slammed his staff on the ground, power and roughness in his voice. "You WILL answer my question!" His voice boomed.

Grimmjow slowly looked up, looking at the old man as if he were the only thing in his vision.

"That shinigami insulted my pride, he exploited my heart, and my human nature. I killed him...before I could kill myself." Grimmjow spoke calmly, collectively; speaking as though he were a completely different person. Speaking as though there was something very wrong with him.

"If you're going to kill me, do it now. Better not to risk any more cowardice from this freak show." Grimmjow set his jaw, his face remaining blank.

The congregation erupted.

Grimmjow was escorted back to the room. He was apparently, "too mentally incapacitated to withstand the trial."

Fuck that.

He knew exactly what was going on, even amidst his muddled brain, he knew what was happening. The thing was, he didn't care; not about anything. The pain just pushed everything to the side, shocking him so much that he was immobilized, numbed. Everything he did it said was mechanical, that was his way now.

So maybe they were right.

Grimmjow sat in his room in the floor, a full plate of food in front of him. It had been sitting there for hours, but he hadn't even made an attempt to pick up his fork. He was holding his head in his hands, his elbows on his knees.

Occasionally, he would flinch, gritting his teeth. It came in flashes, the memories.

A white flash, and then...

Orihime was tensed in a battle position, her sword poised. "I think I got the move down, Grimmjow!" She grinned.

He got up from his perch. "Yeah, that was pretty good." He spoke gruffly. "But your movements are too choppy."

She pouted, but soon blushed when he got behind her, taking her arms in his. "You have to let it flow...like this. Bring it across..." his eyelids lowered, "then up." She moved with him, her sword pointed to the sky.

A flash.

_Orihimes sweet laughter filled the room_

_"You didn't!" Orihime lay on the bed, listening intently to the story with huge orbs, covering her surprised smile with her hands._

_"Yep." Grimmjow smirked. "Blew out the whole east wing." He propped his back up against her bed frame, crossing his legs and arms._

_Her eyes widened with amazement. "What did Ulquiorra do?!"_

_It was Grimmjows turn to laugh. He layed his head against the frame. "Oh my fu-ok, ok well everything's in ruins right? And he comes out of the bathroom in his little nightgown..." He chuckled again. "And I swear to Aizen he looked like L from Death Note." Orihimes closed her eyes and laughed hard. She wiped her eyes "oh my gosh I can't even imagine that!"_

_Grimmjow gestured with his hands. "Yeah, I mean his face literally looked like shit." They laughed for a while after that, until Orihime beat his thigh with her fists. "Ok ok tell me what happened!"_

_"Well he was brushing his teeth...and I was watching the whole thing...and his toothbrush just fucking falls out-!" His voice trailed off as he began laughing again. "His face was so priceless I can't even explain it to you...he was just like "what...the hell..""_

_Grimmjow watched her laugh, and he laughed with her until their sides began to hurt._

More white flashes.

_Orihime was cleaning their hotel room while Grimmjow was getting groceries. She had her headphones in, the audio blasting loud enough so that any person in the room could faintly hear it. She soon got into the groove of it, beginning to roll her body, she rocked to the beat, shimmying her shoulders as she dusted the counter top. "Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it!" She sang lightly._

_Little did she know, Grimmjow had returned early, and was standing in the doorway trying to contain his laughter._

_She moonwalked, shook her ass, jumped around the room, did everything. "Shake, shake it-ah!" She finally turned around, dropping her duster and fumbling with her headphones when she saw the grinning man. "G-Grimmjow what are you doing here?!" She blushed._

_"Watching you shake it."_

Another flash.

_"It's almost Christmas." Orihime mumbled. Grimmjow leaned against the chair shirtless, watching her get dressed on the bed. She went to grab for her shirt, but stopped when he placed his hands on the bed._

_He had that look in his eye, licking his lips. "So what about you?" He asked seductively, grinning. "You gonna be naughty...or nice?"_

_Before she could respond, Grimmjow pounced, tackling her unto the bed and kissing her neck whilst smiling. She giggled and squealed, kicking playfully. "Kya-Grimmjow!" She laughed._

_"Grim_mjow. Grimmjow!"

Grimmjow yelled, falling back against the bookshelf, holding his head. Books fell off and tumbled to the floor. Ichigo grabbed his shoulders and shook him violently. "Snap the hell out of it!"

Grimmjows breathing eventually slowed, and he lowered his hands, seeing brown eyes looking at him in angst and concern.

"Kurosaki?" Grimmjow was surprised to see him in his room.

Ichigo watched him for a moment, searching his face with worried eyes. "yeah." he sighed before falling back on the ground, sitting across from Grimmjow.

He pointed to Grimmjow's full tray of food with stern look. "Why aren't you eating?"

Grimmjow chuckled, nodding his head down. "They send you in here to make me eat, Kurosaki?"

"Answer the question."

"Because I ain't _hungry_." Grimmjow spat, glaring at him.

"That's the most pathetic lie I've ever heard." Ichigo didn't tear his eyes away from Grimmjow. "Idiot, you haven't eaten in three days!"

"Your not a hollow anymore, Grimmjow!"

Grimmjow growled darkly, leaning in close. "Does it scare that I'm killing myself, Kurosaki?"

"Your just a kid, never truly loved anything in your life." Grimmjow sneered in his face, the venom leaving his lips. "There is pain, Kurosaki. That's why me and Ulquiorra both feared the heart. That's why she..." He winced. "Was the only one to help me overcome my fear."

"G-Grimmjow..."

"Can't you see I'm not made to be human?!" Grimmjow slammed his hands on the table. "Im supposed to be a hollow! That's the way it has to be!"

"_No it doesn't have to be that way_!" Ichigo shook his head, gritting his teeth.

"Grimmjow you have to eat! Do it...do it for Orihime Grimmjow-"

Grimmjow flung the food aside, using all if his human strength with a yell through his teeth, slamming the orange haired teen into the wall.

Ichigo immediately began clawing at Grimmjows hands, hissing out a quick breath from his read face. Grimmjow tightened his grip, and the Shinigami tried to scream but failed with the lack of air.

"_Listen here Kurosaki._" Grimmjow failed to keep his voice calm.

Ichigo gasped like a dying fish, his heels digging into the ground.

"Don't you ever...don't you ever say that name again! Understand!?"

Ichigo watched him with scared brown eyes.

Grimmjow laughed maniacally, looking the boy straight in the eye with his wild blue eyes, a feral smile on his features.

"Self destruction is such a pretty little thing! isn't it Kurosaki?! You get so fucked up and the world can't even hear your screams!"

Ichigo sputtered, turning purple. "G-Grimm...jow..." Ichigo squeaked, his eyes rolling back. Sweat fell between grimmjows eyes, his pupils growing wildly large. He didnt even realize he was killing the boy. His head rolled back. "_Grimmjow_..." Ichigos voice came out an even higher pitch as he used his last ounce of air, snapping Grimmjow back into reality. He very nearly let go of Ichigo all together, but kept his grip.

Ichigo immediately clung to his life source, gulping in the heavenly air. His head fell back against the wall; he was utterly exhausted from the fact that Grimmjow had nearly suffocated him.

"Just let me die...let me forget Kurosaki. Being a mindless beast is better than this!"

"You...wouldn't give up!"

Grimmjow grunted in surprise, desperation on his features.

"Don't you _ever_..." Ichigo hissed through his teeth. "Give up on this life!"

Now ichigo looked him in the eye with his heroic brown eyes.

"Not now. Not _ever_!"

Grimmjow let go of Ichigo with wide eyes, putting his hands against the wall. He let a sobbing sound come forth from the back of his throat, and Ichigo stood with nothing to do or say.

"_The worst feeling is the moment you realise you've lost yourself."_

_-Unknown Movie _

Ending- Soldier On

Copy link:

infectiousmusicuk/soldier-on-by-the-temper-trap

**GRIMMHIME GRIMMICHI ICHIRUKI ICHIHIME DISCUSSION BELOW.**

**Grimmhime:**

**Ya ok. This is one of the biggest so-called sexiest ships: u know what I mean if you've read some of the lemons.**

**Anyways, after watching the final battle between Ulquiorra vs Ichigo, I was so discouraged. I watched it in English Dub. EW. Yeah...English dub sucks. It can suck my juice box. Ugh like seriously I was CRINGING it was just horrible. Orihimes voice actor seems like a nice lady, but really, it's not working.**

**I think Orihimes voice is too high and too whiny...of course. She probably had just as much inner strength and willpower as Rukia...well almost. Kubo displays her as a normal teenage girl...but she has incredible inner resolve. Even though she is weaker than most characters...her voice really shouldn't be made so weak and whiny.**

**With English sub, I think she just has way better chances with Grimmjow. Just sayin because Grimmjow doesn't put up with any whiny crap.**

**In the manga she has the most chances because she seems way stronger without her voice. She is portrayed better in the manga, and I think that would take better to Grimmjow's liking.**

**Umm. GRIMMJOW SAVED HER LETS JUST THINK ABOUT THIS. He's a maniac with pride which is sexy, first of all. Second of all, IT'S LIKE HE HAD A SOFT SIDE WITH HER ALMOST. And in the anime when she got hurt he touched her face and stuff I can't even. **

**(* - *)**

**Of course he's gonna shove her around a bit. He's a man eating hollow and it would hurt his pride if the girl actually thought he was nice. He barely has any human emotion; I would be mean too if I was like a hollow. Grimmjow doesn't seem like the type to let women or underlings become to cocky.**

**Like, Grimmjow could've waited. He could've let her get hurt because he might of been irritated that she was getting high treatment from Aizen. But no. He saved her in the midst of it.**

**And if it was really all too take advantage of her, why couldn't he just grab her and go? Why did he have to beat up loly and menoly? It was none of his business to begin with. He beat them up to protect Orihime then. I mean, he still wanted to fight ichigo...it just seemed like he was interested in her too. Like idk what else to think of that, unless he just wanted to put on a show for her. Still, that would mean he was interested.**

**Grimmichi:**

**Okay...well I'm really risking myself by tampering with this subject...but I'm gonna do it anyway.**

**I'll start out by saying I don't necessarily support the desicion of being gay or lesbian because it goes against my morals. ive just always believed that in the beginning a man and a woman were meant to be together . I'm not hating on gays, because I totally respect them as people, I in fact have a friend who's gay. I'm just saying its not a decision i myself would make. Like, if ur gay, I won't hate you, I'll try to be friends.**

**If any of you are offended by this please tell me and I'll remove it. I mean no offense to anyone who is bisexual.**

**So saying that...I don't RLLY support Grimmichi.**

**But um...I kinda have the tiniest of the tiniest evil dark side in the dusty corner of my brain thats somewhat is aroused by the idea of two of the hottest men in anime having sex.  
Oh my gosh this is bad. Im supposed to be a good girl. I'm fighting the evil.**

**And I really freaked out BC I remember Grimmjow saying "lets rock." Two times in the manga. Once before he went to Karakura with his fraccion, and another before he used Desgarron. AND THEN I heard Ichigo say it right before he entered the Garganta to Hueco Mundo to save Orihime and I was just like...omg.**

**Ichigo and Grimmjow are both rlly rough and calloused, and they both like to fight. They both have something to protect, too. Grimmjow his pride, and Ichigo his friends. They're just a lot alike In those ways.**

**Just friend/enemies?**

**Kubo SAID, IN AN INTERVIEW, that the arrancar would probably fight alongside the shiningami in the final arc.**

**Ichiruki:**

**Ugh Blah blah bla there meant for each other bla bla.**

**Ok I think we're done.**

**Gosh Tite Kubo might as well freaking scream ichiruki to the world.**

**Ichihime:**

**Ok let's just get the fact straight here. Orihime loves Ichigo. And ichigos kind of a dumbass.**

**Like I was saying. She is not so whiny and clingy in the manga. In fact, she's not clingy at all. She's smart enough to give him his space. Her love is pretty much like agape at this point; she'd do ANYTHING for Ichigo. She is strong enough for Ichigo, in the manga anyway.**

**And Ichigo doesn't completely disregard her either. He wants to protect her too. I just don't think he realises how much she does or is willing to do for him.**

**This is definently NOT a crack pairing. Nobody takes the time to really understand Orihime anyway. At first glance they're all like: "she's a whiny bitch."**

**Ya she's has a whiny sounding voice in the anime, but did you see Orihime crying or whining when those arrancar girls beat the serious crap out of her in the manga? Did you see her cry? And she went back and HEALED them. Personally, the minute Grimmjow saved me I would of gotten away from those girls, let me tell you. Or I would've hit them back.**

**But no. She goes back and heals them, probably knowing they'll come back. She has integrity and she is an amazing girl with almost no selfishness. Ichigo should be somewhat attracted.**

**That's all for today folks. Review ur thoughts on the story or the discussion. ;) ily.**


	3. Here I am

Luna Negra

。。。ルナ·ネグラ。。。

•

•

•

Chapter 3: Here I am

* * *

Opening: Hometown Glory

Copy Link:

.fm/music/Adele/_/Hometown+Glory

_It was blur of dark colors and sounds. Deep, intoxicating sounds. Skin against skin, feeling the others breath against your own. Grasping at the sensations of heat coursing down their bodies, the images became clearer..._

_Grimmjow kissed her deeply, running his hands over her face. He pushed her backwards in the dark, frantically shoving a lamp and books off of a side table before taking her waist and sitting her down on it. She smiled, taking his lips in hers again. Soon, they jumped on the bed, Grimmjow beginning to smile as well. They rolled in the sheets, both of their torsos coming off the sheets before falling back against the bedspread, Grimmjow above._

_He sat up on his knees, removing his jacket, his shoulder blades bending back and tensing as he leaned forward. She had her hand on his chest, and she raised her arms so he could remove her shirt. He took the small fabric in his large hands, lifting it off. Her hand immediately touched his obi belt. He looked up at her, bare shoulders and slit eyes staring at her adoringly. She paused before attacking his lips, pushing him backwards._

_Erratic breathing filled the room._

_They sat upright in the bed, sheets tangled around them. She wrapped her legs around his waist and straddled his lap, her eyes fluttered close as she clung his sweat-covered back._

_He thrust into her, and she moaned softly, digging her nails into his back. He ducked his head into her shoulder as she whimpered and cried out, his hot breath hitting her neck._

_"Grimmjow..." She whispered in his ear. She began to say his name with each movement, moaning for him. "Ah! G-Grimmjoow..."_

_He closed his eyes, breathing shakily, reminiscing in the sweet sounds she made. He cursed, trying to suppress the moan that arose in his throat whenever her body tightened. She began to breath harder._

_"Nn!" She dug her hand into his scalp, fingers in his blue hair._

_"Grimmjow!" She cried out._

_He cursed, moaning her name loudly before making them both fall back on the bed. He kissed her ravishingly, swallowing her voice with his quick lips._

_"Ahh...Grimmjow..." She breathed, closing her eyes. "I-I love you_..."

Grimmjow shot up in bed.

He attempted to catch his breath, sweating profusely. He put a hand to his bare chest, narrowing his eyes in angst.

"No..." He didn't just remember that. He couldn't think of those things now. His brain was betraying him. Because he would never be able to make love to her again.

It was the memory of her, her beautiful face, her moaning beneath him...

"Stop it!"

He grunted, his hands snapping to his head as the pain returned. He turned around, burying his face in the pillow to muffle his twisted yells. He hunched his shoulders, his torso bent upwards out from under the sheets as he screamed painfully, his hands lingering by his head as they shook.

"DAAAMNIT!" He hissed loudly, "SHIT!" He yelled, his fists balled, clutching the sheets. He clenched his teeth, trying to piece together what was left of his emotional pride.

He angry, he was miserable. And he wanted to die. Those were the only pieces he could pick up.

Then it came. The fear. Like a tsunami of anxiety that he couldn't control, something beyond him, it all crashed down.

It wasn't the pain that he felt when he remembered her, but a totally different trauma that may not even be related conpletely to her. Maybe it was just his insanity getting the best of him.

He didn't know, but the squad 4 doctors described it as a panic attack, or a nervous breakdown. The victim would normally be trapped in a situation that they couldn't escape, and begin to feel an indescribable terror that lasted for minutes to hours on end. It was one of the scariest things one could experience in their lifetime.

Yea, But it was Grimmjow. Grimmjow was having a nervous breakdown.

But...it was as though he was no longer Grimmjow. He had accepted that he had lost himself.

Why? He hated it. But right now, all he could feel was a frantic terror. These had been happening weekly for him, yet every time was like a new nightmare, a complete anxiety attack; panic, fear; like a trapped animal.

It really was the exact opposite of who he was.

He pulled up his knees, resting his elbows in them and holding his head. He took deep breathes, repeatedly, his sweat soaking the sheets. His eyes were wide and distant. He was in a living hell, and there was no escape. He dreaded these times, anyone would. He was vibrating, shaking violently all over, and he couldn't control it.

It would've been better if she hadn't destroyed him first.

He felt a hand on his back, and he jolted, hissing like an animal. When his saw springy green hair and brown eyes, he very nearly relaxed, turning around in his shaky state to endure the next few minutes with Nel by his side.

He had basically thrown his pride out the fucking window, where he had thrown everything else. Yeah, wanting to end your life was real humbling.

It had become a routine for Nel to stay with him in times like these, keeping a hand on his back and occasionally whispering things in his ear.

Nel was a girl, just like...her...and she was wise like her too, she knew how to comfort and bring peace.

XxX

Grimmjow sat slumped over on the edge of the bed, his face shadowed. Nel watched him worriedly.

"Grimmjow-sa-"

"I'm fine now." He mumbled. "You can go." He obviously wanted to be left alone, like he always did. She closed her mouth, eventually furrowing her brows and sliding off the bed with a creak, heading out and glancing behind her before she slowly closed the door.

He sat and stared the rest of the night, not even bothering to adjust his body. He was terribly out of character, like he always was. Constantly distant.

XxX

The Nurses could hear the grunts and crashes coming Grimmjow's room. They came running, already used to his tyrants.

They opened his door, peeking inside worriedly. "Grimmjow-San are you-"

An empty bottle crashed into the wall beside the door, and the nurses squealed as the glass flew everywhere.

Grimmjow stood in the middle of the room, his head down as he heaved breaths. "GET. _OUT_!" He screamed at them, making the women go white with fear and run away, closing the door just before another bottle shattered against it.

Eventually, Nel heard the same sounds coming from his room several minutes later. Her eyes widened with concern, and she ran over, her hands flying to the door. She opened it, and gasped.

The room was an absolute wreck.

The mattress had been flung out of the window, the mirror had been ripped out of the bathroom, the bookshelf had been shattered, and books littered the floor. And Grimmjow had somehow gotten hold of a kendo sword, and was using it like a baseball bat to destroy everything.

The only thing still sitting upright in his room was a side table. on top of it was a large bottle of sake, almost empty. Broken bottles and glasses littered the room.

Grimmjow stepped back, swaying a bit. He whipped around, his cheeks red with alcohol consumption, and his hair unkept. "Wadd'a you want?!" He pointed a finger at her, his eyelids lowered. She stood shocked. "Grimmjow!"

He breathed out, yanking himself around again and raising his kendo sword to break something else.

"No Grimmjow stop!" Nel ran over and grabbed his arms, fighting him. "Get off me you bitch!" Grimmjow yelled at her. She ignored him, and continued to struggle against him, keeping his arms above his head. "Grimmjow look at me!" She yelled at him. He looked at her.

And when he did, she leaned forward, and _kissed_ him

She shut her eyes and kissed him hard, still holding his arms above his head.

Grimmjow dropped the practice sword. She pushed against him, and his back hit the wall. He laid his arms against the wall, and she placed her hands against his chest, softly.

His eyelids lowered for a moment.

Then he shoved her, making her fall back unto the ground with a gasp.

"G-Grimmjow-"

"You don' kiss me." He slurred slightly, his face dark. "Only she kiss's me." He mumbled, walking toward the sword in the ground.

"Only she...?"

Nel stood up quickly, approaching him. "Grimmjow...she's dead!"

"Don' Speak to me you bitch!" He screamed, his anger getting the best of him as he slapped her across the face.

She staggered back, hitting the wall. She opened her mouth, holding her cheek.

Grimmjow's chest seized up. "Nel...Nel m' sorry..." He slowly walked close to her. She looked at him, a glare through her teary eyes. She dashed from the room.

"I'm Sorry!" He yelled after her, his voice cracking before the door slammed.

He stared at the door for a minute before running after her. He ran outside into the grass, seeing her green hair bouncing as she stomped away.

"Nel!"

She stopped, her fists clenched.

"What do you want me to say to you...?" She murmured.

She whipped around. "What can I say to you?!" She screamed.

Grimmjow squinted his eyes, angst in his features. "This- this whole thing is fucked!" He yelled, almost incoherently. " I'm s-...I'm sorry!"

"You're drunk!" She screamed back, tears streamed out of her eyes. "There's only so much that I can help you with, Grimmjow! I don't know what it feels like to be you!"

"If ya knew what's it felt like then you'd probably be drunk too!"

"Yea well what am I supposed to do?! You tell me what i need to do!"

"I don' Know!" Grimmjow cried.

"What am I supposed to do with you?! You think it's all gonna be fine?!"

"Stop sayin' its fine!" Grimmjow squeezed his eyes shut. "It's not fine! Nothing's fine!"

"Of course it's not!" She nearly laughed when she said it.

"You're a violent, mentally insane drunk!"

Grimmjow stopped and stood, breathing hard. Sweat trickled down his temple as he hung his head.

"Give me a reason why I shouldn't go."

He looked up at her with hazy eyes.

"Give me one reason."

He clenched his teeth. "Because I hate myself when it's quiet!"

Nel backed up, tears falling down her face as she shook her head. She was going to leave him.

She turned around and ran.

He let her go. He watched her disappear. It was quiet.

Nel pumped her arms as she ran through the taller grass, sniffing and wiping her eyes furiously.

Grimmjow stood still.

Thunder crackled from the dark clouds above, and the rain began to wet the earth. He let the droplets lightly pound him, soaking his white hospital clothes.

"_I wish I could be the rain, then I could bind two hearts together."_ He could hear her voice.

He limply fell to his knees, the water splashing.

He looked to sky. The water ran down his clenched jaw.

_What would you do if you knew you would disappear? Any minute, any second it would be over. _

_How would you feel?_

The drops of rain moved in slow motion for him, dripping off his nose and strands of hair, his silhouette dark and distant, the drops of water hitting the ground in tiny splashes.

He fell on his hands.

"I don't know what to do anymore.", "I don't know what to do..."

"what the fuck do I do?! Somebody tell me..."

_Because of one person...you would disappear. Why?_

He had never cried out for help. He had never cried because he needed help. But he needed that right now, or he would disappear

_Why? Because you loved that person._

"Tas-...taskete!" He choked through his teeth. "Taskete Orihime..." He whispered. "I can't do it anymore...I'm not strong anymore!"

I'm not strong enough...

He felt a hand on his back.

Captain Unohana leaned in, letting herself get soaked in the rain as well. She had a saddened look, the rain drops from her face falling on her black braid.

Grimmjow's breathing came out shakily as he slowly looked over his shoulder. His watery eyes widened.

He whipped around, the water splashing under his feet as he suddenly gripped her captains haori in his fists. She took a step back, yet her face still remained calm and melancholic.

"Tell me she's not dead. "

"There's no way she can be dead" Grimmjow's voice cracked.

"Tell me...!" Grimmjow face contorted, and he shook. Unohana could tell he was crying. He gasped several times, clenching his teeth. He could feel her slender hand rest on his head.

"She's not dead." The words left her lips.

What?

His head shot up. "What?" He breathed. This time he had heard it for real, it wasn't some voice in his head, he knew.

She's not dead.

She's. not. Dead.

"I didn't want to tell you."

He began breathing hard, his eyes traveling down.

"Orihime Inoue is still with us."

Grimmjow let go of her coat, falling back.

"She's alive."

He took sudden breaths, bowing his head with wide eyes, his nostrils flaring. She's alive...she's alive...

"She's alive...!" He whispered, his eyes darting about.

"She's alive!" His voice shook.

She's _here_.

XxX

_"His eyes were like a maze and the end held all his secrets._

_And the only way to uncover them was to pass the maze_

_ but no matter how hard you tried,_

_you just couldn't._

_Because the farther you got_

_the darker it became_

_until you were lost in the darkness_

_contained in his eyes."_

_ -s.f._

**Wow ok, I was reading over Luna Blanca and how much it sucks. Yeah I mean the plot was okay but...idk the writing was really bad like its sad. Lol this book will be so much better I can't even tell you.**

**I'm wondering if Grimmjow is still in character even though he's out of character...if that makes any sense?**

**Review or die. •-•**


	4. Lovely Bones, What I yearn to be

Luna Negra 4

。。。ルナ·ネグラ。。。

•

•

•

Chapter 4: Oh Lovely Bones, What I yearn to be...

* * *

Opening: Hometown Glory

Copy Link:

.fm/music/Adele/_/Hometown+Glory

Unohana stood still, watching him.

He walked past her. "She's alive, he looked up and whispered, his blue eyes wide. He began jogging, then running, then sprinting.  
She's here!

Unohana stood in the rain, not bothering to turn around. She let out a sigh, her eyes closing.

"Halt!" A group of armed men from the Stealth Corps jumped out of nowhere. They immediately surrounded him, clothed in black.

"Do not move! You are to be brought under custody!"

Grimmjow skidded to a halt momentarily before continuing on. "MOVE! OUTTA MY WAY!" he forcefully shoved two of them out of the way. "Hey!" One man scolded, coming up from behind and wrapping his arms around Grimmjow's neck in a vice grip.

Grimmjow began yelling and cursing, struggling against the mans grip. "Let go of me!"

"Let go of me!" He screamed, his voice reaching hysteria. "I have to see her!"

The man yelled when Grimmjow reared back, head butting him. He broke away, breathing hard and running away in the slippery rain.

He felt something hard hit him in the back of the head. He grunted, wide eyed before he crumpled to the ground. He struggled to get back up, but only succeeded in letting his arms slip in the mud, falling back with a thud. His eyelids were lowered, staring at the dirt and blades of grass as the rain fell on his mud-covered face.

He felt a weight in his back, and his arms being bound behind him. His eyes flickered,  
feeling something puncture his neck. The fluid was pushed into his veins, and he breathed out, falling unconscious.

XxX

When he woke up, he didn't struggle. He was in a chair, surrounded by five shinigamis.

He was in dressed in a new white tank top and white pants.

He was covered in sweat, the salt droplets dripping off his strands of hair. He had a metal mask strapped around his mouth. That was probably how insane they thought he actually was.

The two men seized either side if his arm, and they walked down the hallway. His hair and his head drooped as he walked in between the guards.

His blue eyes suddenly opened, looking even more frightening with the metal mask concealing half of his face. They darted to the left, then the right.

They took him into a white room with no windows. it was very small, having enough room for a small table. The men forcefully laid him down, but he did not struggle. His expression was that of a calm man, staring blankly at the ceiling as they strapped him in. Black metal bands bound his arms, wrists, legs, feet, and torso.

They removed his mask, and he watched them as one jingled the keys in their fingers, locking the door and leaving him in a dim light.

He lay there for several minutes.

Then he began to move his mouth, manipulating something inside with his tongue. Through his teeth appeared a small paper clip. He spit it out unto his chest, his mind already quick at work. He moved his torso, trying with great difficulty to slide the paper clip across his body to his left hand.

He eventually managed to get the paper clip down to his pants, and he turned to the side, letting it slide with a clink onto the metal table. Using his long fingers, he speedily picked it up and began picking at the lock on his wrist.

He broke free. He whipped around and used his hand to break the other one, and then his torso and his feet. He slid off the table and crept towards the door. He peeped through the window, and the minute he saw the head of the night guard, he burst through, ramming his elbow into the mans nose. Blood burst forth and ran down the guard's chin, but the man had no time to yell. Grimmjow clasped his hands together and slammed his fists on the mans head, making him crumple to the ground instantaneously.

He got behind the guard and shuffled backwards, dragging the man towards his cell and throwing him in.

He grabbed a stick out of the mans belt, examining it momentarily. They probably weren't allowed to have swords around medical patients, so they used these wooden sticks to subdue the crazy ones.

'The crazy ones are always the smartest', Grimmjow thought to himself.

He crouched and ran down the white hallway, his bare feet padding stealthily against the cold floor. He gripped the stick with both his hands as his eyes darted from place to place.

He finally came to the double doors with "Laboratory" printed on the top. He peeked through the window and then pushed through, passing numerous vials and vases with bubbling fluids. He finally found what he wanted. His finger flicked three switches upward, and he watched as the sickly green liquid filled up the vials in the stand. He plucked out one, walking out the door and grabbing a large needle on the way out. He pushed through the door, jogging and keeping his eyes in front of him as he pushed the vile in the shot device, hearing a compressed click. The metal pushed into place and a small puff of smoke flew up.

Grimmjow burst through the door. A couple of nurses gasped, and one ran towards him. He kept walking as if there was nothing, brutally slamming the stick into the side of her head, knocking her out immediately.

A dark-haired one was already at the phone. "Main HQ, Security room 4 there is an emergen-

He slammed her into the wall, pressing the needle against her neck. She gasped shakily in shock, letting the phone slowly fall from her fingers. She watched him; her face was pale with fear, he could see it. "Don't make a sound." He hissed in her ear. "I ain't afraid to kill a woman." His words sent violent shivers down her spine.  
The phone dangled by a cord on the table.

"Hello? Security room 4, hell-"

Grimmjow stomped his foot on the phone, breaking the cord with a snap of electricity.

"Nobody move!" He yelled loudly, dragging the frightened nurse by the collar to where everyone could see. He glanced at the control room, where the other women were frozen. "Put your hands behind your head!" Some nurses shakily did so. One tried to slowly approach him. "Grimmjow-San...lets try and think about this-"

"_Do it or I sware to God I'll pump her full of it!"_ He screamed. Everyone obeyed. "Now get down on the floor! Face the ground!"

He yanked his whimpering captive along with him into the control room. He looked at the two woman operating it. "Tell me where they're keeping her."

They looked at each other.

"Tell me!"His yell made everyone jump, and the nurse in his grip began to cry.

"Sir we don't know what-"

Grimmjow slammed the nurse's head on the table, pressing the needle to her neck as she squealed.

"They say just one ounce of this stuff will slowly suffocate the victim over a period of two hours." Grimmjow whispered madly, licking his lips. "Wonder what'll happen with three?." The needle broke her skin. The girl screamed.

"No, stop!"

"Don't want your little friend to die, do ya?" He yanked the girls head back up and pressed her back against his chest as she breathed rapidly. "Tell me where she is!" He hissed through his teeth.

The two women paused before one answered nervously. "She's somewhere in room 6...that's all I know."

One woman inched away, laying her palm near a large red button. "It's classified information, they won't give us the details."

Grimmjow's eyes flitted to her. "Your chances of pressing that button," she tensed up. "Are about as good as my ability to crack yer scrawny little neck."

"I suggest you back away." Grimmjow's voice remained eerily calm.

"Open the doors."

The girl closed her eyes and breathed out, slowly twisting a key in the lock.  
"Now get down, on your knees face the floor!" He commanded harshly.

The sound of duct tape being ripped by his teeth made all three women flinch. "Don't worry." He smiled horribly. "I may be crazy, but I ain't stupid."

He had his fist clenching the back of the nurses shirt with the needle to her neck, running down the hallway with her stumbling along with him.

The shinigami guard whistled to himself as he twirled the stick in his hand, heading towards the control room of the hospital.

He opened the door, striding in and shutting it behind him, whistling the last part of the song-

He stopped cold when he saw the girls form lying on the floor. He went pale, running over and shaking her. "Hey! Hey!"

He scrambled to the control room, throwing open the door and gasping when he saw the girls bound by duct tape by there legs and hands, the tape around there mouths muffling their yells.

He pounded his fist on the red button.

The alarms went off all around the building, loud enough to leave a ringing in ones ears.

Grimmjow pulled the girl along as she began to whimper, running faster. He got to the room 6 double doors, with guards on each side. He yanked her up where they could see.

"Open it! Open it or she's dead!" He screamed fiercely, wide eyed. He shook her a bit when he yelled and she cried out In fear, her face gleaming with tears and sweat.  
"Get down on the floor _face the wall! _Do it!" Grimmjow screamed as the doors opened.

The girl yelped when he pushed her away, closing the door. He pressed a button on the side, locking them in. He watched them blankly as they banged on the glass and yelled, protesting for him to stop. He turned around and walked towards the room. Her room.

Slowly, slowly he walked, his feet hit the cold floor, step by step.

He walked forward and pushed aside the curtain.

•

•

The sweat slowly fell between his wide eyes as his hair fell in his stilled face.

Time seemed to stop

The needle fell from his from his fingers, slowly, spinning, hitting the floor. It broke and the green liquid spilled on the tile.

Grimmjow stood still, unmoving, unblinking. Maybe it was just another dream. He hadn't experienced this one before.

He ignored the men pounding on the door, he ignored everything.

her name came out slowly from his lips, quietly, almost incoherently. "Ori-..hi..me..." He muttered from his throat. He swayed as he walked, one step forward, two steps forward, three steps forward, stopping at the glass.

The room she was in was underwater.

Closed eyelids, pale face, wrinkled lines, sunken cheeks.

He saw it. It was there.

It was a freak show. An accident. A disaster. Like a screwed up thing of the deep caverns of hell.

Tubes. Tubes and vials and cords and machines. They ran around her through her, inside her. Liquids being pumped inside her.  
The oxygen mask concealed her lips. She looked dead. She looked inhuman, white. Her skin looked like it was stretched over bone, like a human skeleton.

_They did this. Didn't they _Orihime?

They did this.

They did this.

They did this.

He wanted to throw up. He wanted to die. That should be him. He should be the skeleton in the bed, not her. Not her.

They did this.

What did they do to you?! What...?  
What did they do...

The rest happened in slow motion.

His blank face contorted

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_!"

He sprinted away, through the curtains, grabbing a fire extinguisher against the wall.

He was gonna get her outta there. He was gonna save her. You won't be in there anymore.

I'm gonna make _everything better!_!

He ran back, wild eyes that were glazed over set on one goal. He screamed, raising the fire extinguisher.

The glass shattered.

.

But it wasn't the glass containing Orihime, it was the door to Room 6.

A raven-haired man crashed through, the shards going everywhere, his dark coat flying.

"GRIMMJOW!"

Ulquiorra tackled him, and the extinguisher rolled along the floor. Grimmjow gasped and grunted as his back hit the floor with the weight of the man on top of him.

Grimmjow screamed and struggled like he was demonically possessed, spit and sweat flying off him. Ulquiorra yelled angrily, punching him. Blood flew out of his mouth.

Grimmjow couldn't hear much, or think clearly, his ears were ringing. All he could hear a familiar voice screaming "fool" in his ear.

Ulquiorra punched him again and again. "You stupid trash! You stupid human!"

"NO! NOOO!" Grimmjow struggled

"fight this, _GRIMMJOW_!" Ulquiorra screamed, a scream which Grimmjow retaliated, punching him and throwing him back.

Ichigo Kurosaki and Rukia Kuchiki had arrived at that time. They stood and watched with pale faces, along with the few guards at the door. They saw Ulquiorra's face, his full anger and emotion as the two hit and kicked and punched each other, blood flying.

Grimmjow tried to run to her, but Ulquiorra caught him by the waist, digging his heels into the ground. Grimmjow yelled and struggled, lurching forward with his arms.  
"LET ME GO! LET ME GO!"

"Listen to me, Damnit!"

"No, I have to save her! I'll get her out-AH!"

Ulquiorra growled fiercely, grabbed a fistful of Grimmjow's hair and using all his strength to throw him into a wall. He ran over and Grabbed his collar, shaking him, "_YOU LISTEN TO ME YOU CAN'T SAVE HER GOD DAMNIT!" _Ulquiorra screamed.

"YES I CAN!" Grimmjow screamed back.

Ulquiorra squeezed his eyes shut,  
"NO YOU'RE GONNA KILL HER!" He screamed as loud as he could.

Grimmjow stopped.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND!? YOU PIECE OF TRASH!"

"YOU'RE GONNA KILL HER!"

Grimmjow stared at Ulquiorra, if this even was Ulquiorra. He had the albino skin and the tear marks, his face gleaming with bruises and sweat, blood running out of the corner of his mouth.  
He was breathing hard, his nostrils flaring and his cheeks puffing in and out from breathing through his mouth. His emerald eyes were furious.

Grimmjow had sweat and blood getting in his eyes, bruises on his cheeks. A large stream of blood ran from his nose on to his red lips.

"Look at me." Ulquiorra whispered. Grimmjow barely managed to through lazy eyes.

"Come here." Ulquiorra grabbed the back of his collar and dragged him ever to the glass so he could see Orihime. Ulquiorra let him fall on his knees, and he bent over so he could whisper harshly in his ear.

"Look at that. Look at that girl in front of you."

Grimmjow winced, slowly opening his blue eyes.

"Now you listen to me, Grimmjow." Ulquiorra whispered in his ear.

"She doesn't want this. She doesn't want you this way. She's suffering Grimmjow, can you not see?!"

Grimmjow breathed out as he looked at her face, wetness in his eyes.

"Tell me, do you love her?"

"Do you love her?"

"Yes." Grimmjow's words were pained and quite emotional. He clenched his teeth.

"Do you see that girl?"

"that girl, that girl in that bed needs you. She needs you right now." Ulquiorra breathed

"She needs you...to be the man that you are in her heart. She needs you to be strong, because if you're strong then she'll be strong. do you understand?"

Grimmjow's eyes widened.

"If you don't then what is the point?" Ulquiorra nearly choked.

"It will just kill her faster...don't you see...it will hurt her..." Ulquiorra grimaced, and Grimmjow's lips began to tremble.

"And she'll die...looking like she is on that bed...and her heart will be broken...don't you see...don't you see what it's done to her?!"

Grimmjow couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't look at her anymore. He felt the bile seep to the back of his throat, and he broke away, running to the trash can.

He bent over, and threw up.

He was gasping for breath, coughing profusely. Once the fit ended, he slid to the floor again. He turned around and rested his head against the trashcan, breathing deeply with a fine sheen of sweet making his pale skin shine.

He turned his head slightly to look at Ulquiorra, who was standing rigid, watching him out of the corner of his eyes with his cold green eyes.

I'm not meant to be human. Do you see what this has done to me? I wasn't ready. For once In my existence I couldn't handle it. Human. Feelings. Love. It's something you never want. Don't ever look for it. Don't seek humanism. It is weak and defenseless, I'm miserable because of what I am and what I don't have.

I am destruction. My life is full of it. It's my nature, my destiny. Destroy all things in my path to rise to the top. Even as a human, it's as though that path will never stop.

So this is what happened. This is my fate, this is what was planned for me. To rise to the top and be king, without her. She was 'in my way'. She was 'making me weak'.

Shes gone and It's going to kill me. Is that the plan? To die and start over again? To lose myself again? I've lived for a thousand years, I am ancient, numb to the laws of reality. I am just living to die, it's in my nature.

It's always been.

Grimmjow looked at Ulquiorra and shook his head.

Ulquiorras emerald eyes swam with emotion for a split second before he shut them tightly, clenching his fists and turning his back.

Love truly hurts when you are already an animal to begin with, and that one girl comes along and makes you human again, only to exploit your weaknesses.

Why be a human when you can be an animal, a monster? Why try to kill yourself faster, than just lose your soul altogether.

XxX

She hummed lightly, a happy tune.

her little feet skipped along. Dark, blue hair trailed behind her tiny figure as her chubby arms swung back and forth.

Her big eyes sparkled as she looked from place to place and tottered along, holding the nurses hand tightly.

"Nursey Nursey!" The little girl squealed suddenly, jumping up and down. "I-I wanna go ins the other room dere!" She pointed to Room 6.

"Oh no, Uno, you can't go in there." The young nurse smiled, squeezing her hand. "Come along now .."

"But noooo!" The little girl furrowed her brow, pouting. "I wants go Nursey! Nursey lemme go dere!" Her sweet little voice demanded.

"No-"

The tiny girl suddenly ripped away, running as fast as her toddler legs would carry her. She giggled uncontrollably her face erupting into sweet laughter. "Catch me catch me!"

The nurse paled. The girl was surprisingly fast for a little one, and the nurse knew where she was headed. "No! Stop Uno!

Her frantic voice didn't reach the young ones ears as she pushed past the double doors, still giggling profusely.

She stopped suddenly, her smile and laughter fading.

All the shinigami, everyone turned their heads to the little girl standing to the side of the room. But she wasn't paying attention to them.

She saw a man staring at her. He was slumped against a trash can with bruises and blood running from his nose.

He was looking at her with wide eyes and confusion, as if he was trying to remember something.

She didn't think, she just ran, breathing hard with the strain on her little legs.

She reached him finally, timidly approaching him.

Grimmjow stared at her, his mind blank.

Those eyes.

They were...silver. They were like hers,

exactly like hers.

"No!" The nurse held out her hand. "He's very dangerous, Uno, come back here right now, he could hurt you okay?"

The little girl turned around with big eyes, looking at the nurse. A childlike blankness on her face.

The woman smiled, bending over. "Come here Uno." She held out her hands. "You'll be safe."

The girl stood her ground, slowly turning to face the bloodied man who was still gaping at her.

"You won hurt me? mister?"

Grimmjow numbly shook his head no.

"Uno-"

"Help!" The little girl shouted, looking at the nurse. With some difficulty, she took off her thin jacket.

The nurse backed off slightly, wide eyed.

"I help him see!"She held up her jacket.

"You's alls a bad nurses cause you-you all don't helps him!" She pointed a chubby finger at everyone else in the room.

"It's ok!" The girl turned back to face the blue-haired man. "I helps you!" She shouted.

Grimmjow watched her with wide eyes

What is this creature? Why is she so small, why is her speech impaired? Grimmjow was perplexed. She was like the mini version of a human; he had never seen a child before of this size, and wondered for a second if she was some sort of mutant.

She seems so fragile, yet exuberant, full of life and hopes and dreams, something that was like a breath of fresh air even though it was so unlike him.

She stood on her tiptoes, grunting as she tried to reach his face, the jacket clutched in her hands.

His brain soon registered that she was trying to reach his face. He kept his eyes trained on her has he slowly lowered his head so that she could reach. Her little hands gently used her jacket to wipe the blood from his nose and cheek.

"There!"

"There, Mr. Blue!"

Mr. Blue? Oh...his blue hair.

"You all a betters see!" She patted both her tiny hands on his broad chest, as if to comfort him.

Everyone looked in awe at the little girl who dared to approach the ex-arrancar, a small amount of nervousness in their eyes.

Was this some sort of joke?

"A-Alright Uno...you fixed up mister...mister blue...now come on back..."

"No! Nos I staying with mister blue! Uno wants stay!" The girl stamped her foot defiantly.

One shinigami nodded to another. "Take the girl." Two began walking forward, just in case Grimmjow decided to do something. The little girl saw them coming, and began to whine and whimper. "No! No no nos!" Her face contorted, and her little cheeks become red. "D-dont l-let's m-mes gets t-taksens a-a-away-y!" She sniffled, and hiccuped, the tears already streaming down her cheeks. The guard reached out.

"No!" The little girl screeched, latching on to Grimmjow and wrapping her chubby arms around his neck. Grimmjow stared blankly forward, shock written in his face.

"No no NO! I want stay! I want stay!" She shook her head furiously, crying.

"I be doctors nows you g-get...d-don't gets to take m-me!" She huffed, sniffing up her runny nose.

The shinigami stopped, seeing her silver eyes look at him angrily but pleadingly, a childlikeness that struck ones soul.

He saw that Grimmjow looked done anyway. The way he stared blankly into nothingness with glazed-over eyes; he had probably gone insane by this point. He was broken, harmless, like a piece of trash. What harm could he do to a little girl?

"Aw come on...I mean look at her..."

The girl looked at them with big, pleading, watery eyes, sniffling for effect.

"What?! Are you crazy?! Did you not just see him subdue numerous shinigami with just a wooden stick, and nearly kill a woman by holding her captive?!" The other hissed.

"B-but...she is kinda cute..."

"How could you hurt something like that eh?

"Let her stay with him."

Everyone turned to look at Ichigo, who stood firmly.

"I know Grimmjow, he wouldn't hurt her. And it doesn't look like he wants to."

"He's right." Rukia nodded her head solemnly. "Grimmjow needs someone like her, A small human that isn't bound by the ways of the world. Someone who will fully except him."

"like a companion."

"Excuse me, but this is a child we're talking about." The nurse stood and spoke up, seriousness in her tone. "You can't possibly expect her to-"

"We've tried everything." One of the guards interrupted. "Nothing is making him better. What is there to lose?"

They heard the rustling if clothes, and saw Grimmjow painfully getting up and walking over to the viewing room again.

"Mr. Blue!" The little girl looked after him. He pushed pass the curtain and stood at the glass, taking it.

He pressed his palm against the glass. Maybe if he touched her, whispered in her ear, let her know he was here, she would get better. She was right there, after so much, all that separated them was glass. He silently formed her name on his lips.

The little girl ran up right beside him, looking into the glass. She looked up at his tall form, staring at his face before pressing her hands against the glass.

"Who's that?" She pointed.

"Who's that lady Mr. Blue?"

Grimmjow kept staring at Orihime with wide, pain-stricken eyes.

"She's my-" his words got caught in his throat.

"She's my wife."

Ichigo and Rukia's eyes widened, and they looked at each other. Everyone in the room softened, wilting at the sight of Grimmjow and the child.

The girl looked at Grimmjow again with her big, grey eyes.

"Is she real sick?"

Grimmjow stared weakly.

"Yea."

"She's really, really sick."

The girl looked at the woman a moment, furrowing her eyebrows.

"She'll get betters, right?"

There was a long pause.  
"I don't think so." He whispered.

She hesitated before her tiny hand grabbed his calloused one.

"Wells-wells you can waits with me un-until she gets betters be-because she won't dies I promise!" She sputtered, jumping around slightly.

Grimmjow looked at her in shock, feeling her tiny in his large one.

"I like you!" She shouted. "So you stays with me and-and I make you all better okay!" She jumped up in the air, as if she were trying to reach his height.

"We wait for yo-your wifes to get better! We wait togeder!" She squeezed his hand. "I helps you! Okay?"

You help me.

She thinks she can help me.

She wants to help me.

Grimmjow stared off into nothingness for a long time, trying to reason with his jumbled brain. Trying to grasp on to something, anything. He gave up.

yea. His mind thought numbly. Yeah, okay.

"Okay"

XxX

_"He sat alone, alone and at home, where his screams were silent, but his mind was violent...they did indeed eat him alive. _

_And he continues to create a world entirely of his own."_

**Weird turn, right? **

**Idk**

**EITHER WAY IM SO SRRY FOR NOT UPDATING I AM LEGIT SO SORRY!**

**review because u forgive and love me...?**


	5. Lest you fear to love again

Luna Negra  
。。。ルナ·ネグラ。。。

•

Chapter 5: lest you fear to love again

* * *

Opening: Hometown Glory

Copy Link:

.fm/music/Adele/_/Hometown+Glory

"You don't understand us."

Ulquiorra looked at the shinigami in front of him, his eyes menacing, cold. Ichigo stood in front of him, staring back at the dark, pale arrancar.

"Human." Ulquiorra spoke, vile from his throat.

"If you just tell me..."

"Impossible." Ulquiorra replied sharply, keeping eye contact. "We have lived thousands of years, building on a primal instinct and using it to kill, and only for that purpose."

"How do you truly know what your purpose is?" Ichigo whispered, narrowing his eyes.

Ulquiorras green eyes shone. "Because in our feral existence,"

"To live is to kill."

"You don't understand what Grimmjow is experiencing. None of you do."

"Do you even realize that he has already done the impossible?"

Ichigo blinked.

"His soul would've been crushed, under the weight of a hole that has been empty for thousands of years."

Ulquiorra hardened his jaw. "But he clung to the fact, the tiniest pinpoint of a possibility," Ulquiorra whispered, "that the very person who caused him a pain so unbearable that a normal humans heart would burst, would still somehow be alive."

Ulquiorra cleared his throat. "The transition from hollow to human was successful for the both of them, but Grimmjow had a rock solid power and mindset for years upon years. If Orihime was living normally now, being a human would be simple and without difficulties. Because she was only a hollow for a short period, her body easily reclaimed her lost, yet familiar soul, unlike Grimmjow, who never even knew his soul; it was like he had never been human in the first place." Ulquiorra paused.

"Grimmjow's body is collapsing under the utter existence of his heart replacing his hole. Its arguing with itself, It's crushing his body, his mind. It's driven him mad, and it's not just Orihime that made him this way."

"Can he get better?" Ichigo narrowed his eyes, a grimace on his lips.

"He's an animal now, Kurosaki Ichigo. You are lucky I was in my gigai when I subdued him, because I would have most likely killed him for his own good if I wasn't."

Ulquiorra sighed, something very unlike him.

"He somehow was able to crush the natures of two different universes inside his empty soul, while he was powerful." Ulquiorra lowered his eyes. "Everyday I saw him so happy...even though he knew he was slowly killing himself. He knew this would happen. He suffered because of that girl, because he somehow loved her, and he clung on to empty feelings, hoping, lusting, for the actual thing."

"And when she died, he finally felt it. For a few moments, he felt it for the first time in a millennium. Love."

"Then he felt a feeling he wasn't expecting, a feeling he didn't want." Ulquiorra swallowed. "Despair. An insurmountable amount came crushing down on him and...it killed him."

Ichigos eyes widened.

"Love...it killed him. He is..."

Ulquiorra looked at him again through his dark bangs, and spoke emptily,

"Grimmjow Jaggerjacques is dead."

XxX

"My names Uno."

"Dids you knows, your color is red!"

Grimmjow blinked. My color? This girl made no sense.

"See, Nursey says I real special. She say I haves super powers!" She squealed. "Be-because I can see people-people's color!"

The two sat in the room, Grimmjow with his back against the edge of the bed, and the little girl against the wall.

"I sees your color! red!" She clapped her hands and licked her lips.

Didn't she just finish classifying him with the color blue? Regarding his hair and eyes?

And a super power?

"What the hell does that mean?" Grimmjow looked at her numbly.

"It means you real sad."

Grimmjow didn't respond.

"What's your name?" The little girl asked.

"Grimmjow."

"You have Funny name!" She giggled, wiggling her feet.

"It's not funny. It's my name." He replied dryly.

"Uno thinks funny. Mr. Blue better name!" She exclaimed. "Mr. Blue! Mr. Blue!"

"My name is Grimmjow." He glared at her weakly. "Don't call me that."

"Mr. Blue! Mr. Blue! Blue Blue Blue!" She kept on singing. He grabbed the thin fabric of her shirt and jolted her. "Don't call me that!" He raised his voice to a dangerous level, shoving her back and showing her he meant business. She stared at him with wide, terrified, pain-stricken eyes.

"I-I..." She breathed before her face contorted and tears violently streamed down her face.

Grimmjow looked at the child, unsure of what to do. She made little, high pitched noises and sniffles. "D-d-don't do thaaaat! D-don't hurt m-me! M-m-mr b-blue a-a meanie!" She cried louder.

"Ah! Shut up...Shut up brat!" He yelled, only making her cry harder. Grimmjow cringed. "Alright alright! Quit yet damn cryin'! You can call me Mr. Blue..."

"R-really?" She sniffed.

"Yeah." Grimmjow sighed, leaning against the bed.

"Okay!" She cheered, standing up. "I calls you blue b-because your hair!" She shouted.

Grimmjow stared at her.

She tottered over, grunting and whining when she reached out towards his face. "Lemme see! Lemme see your hair!" She demanded.

Grimmjow rolled his eyes, bending his head over so she could reach.

"Yay yay!" She exclaimed, delving her hands on his hair and burying her face in it. "Soft!" She exclaimed, patting her hands on his head.

This kid was stupid. Grimmjow pulled away from her, a scowl on his face.

"Aha! You see?!" She pulled her long, dark hair to the front and held it out. "Blue hair!" She smiled widely. "See? You gots blue hairs! I gots blue hairs!"

She jumped up and down. Grimmjow didn't respond. She ran up and jostled his hands. "Do see? Mr. Blue!"

Grimmjow growled. "Yes I fucking see that our hair is blue! Why do you have to state the obvious all the time?!"

The girl blinked. "Ooh! Oh! Idea! Idea Mr. Blue! I gots idea!"

She waited for him to respond, but he didn't. "Mr. Blue!"

"Yes?! What?! What's your idea?!" Grimmjow threw his hands up in the air.

"Here!" She shouted, running away for moment.

She returned. And in her chubby fingers, was an orange tabby kitten that looked about a week old. The adorable thing hung from her hands quite uncomfortably.

"What the fuck is that thing."

"Kitty!" The girl yelled in delight, dropping the kitten on the floor. "It's a kitty!"

The cat let the tiniest and feeblest of meows leave its mouth.

"This's Wilbert! Wilbert, say hello!"

Grimmjow stared at the tiny, furry, unknown thing.

Wilbert. What? A cat? (It didn't even sound Japanese)

"Go say hello Wilbert! Wilbert say hello!" The girl pushed the kitten forward by its butt, causing it to stumble forward and almost fall. Then it walked forward on wobbly legs towards Grimmjow.

"Look! He say hello! Pick up Mr. Blue!" Grimmjow's eyes flicked to the girls before he took the orange-striped animal in both his hands and lifted it up in front of his face, staring awkwardly at it. It's abdomen hung loosely, and its legs and arms were tensed. It meowed again.

The girl laughed and clapped cheerily. "He likes you! Yay yay!"

Grimmjow set the thing on his chest and it latched its claws on to his shirt, clinging on to him for dear life. Grimmjow scowled as the cat got more comfortable, climbing onto his shoulder and snuggling against his neck.

Grimmjow huffed. "Where the hell are yer parents, why don't ya go back home n' leave me alone."

The girl shook her head violently, growing a stern expression. "No, nope Mr. Blue! I don' got mommy and daddy."

"Whaddya mean ya ain't got any?"

"I don' know! See I don' know! Nursey says nobody's knows."

"Huh." Grimmjow laid his head against the bed frame. So the hospital looked after her.

XxX

"See the mommy?" The little girl whispered, pointing to the momma cat surrounded by her litter of kittens. The girl had led him to where the family was, and they were both crouched down in front of them, Grimmjow wearing his usual frown and the girl with her hands on her knees, eyes filled with wonder.

"How could I not see the mother?" Grimmjow asked in irritation.

"Mommy kitty never leaves the babies no matter what, she's gets angry ifs we try to takes them away." The girl continued on as though she didn't hear.

"I wishes I had someone's like that. Best friend. You friend right Mr. Blue?" She asked.

Grimmjow glanced over at her as she softly petted the mother cat.

XxX

"C-can I s-sleeps on the bed too?"

"No. Sleep on the damn floor, brat." He replied harshly.

The girl sniffled. "Okays."

Grimmjow lay in bed, unable to shut his eyes. The little girl had managed to distract him somewhat, but now his mind was running off again to unknown places, dark territories, twisted imaginations, a web of self-consumption. He turned his head limply to look out the window.

"M-mr. Blue? Can you sleep?"

Grimmjow kept staring, his blue eyes dulled and unresponsive.

"Mr. Blue?"

Ahh...the moon was bright tonight. The moon...

"Mr. Blue?"

XxX

Well, this was turning into a normal procedure.

He woke up screaming. He fell off unto the floor, holding his head, unaware of what was happening around him.

His ruckus caused the girl to wake up.

"Mr. Blue? Mr. Blue? You need-" she stopped cold when she saw him. Pale skin, bloodshot eyes with hair in his face. He screamed again, his arm flailed, and he knocked over a small relic on the bedside table, making it shatter on the floor. The girl screamed and jumped back, horror in her eyes as she watched the man convulse on the floor.

She saw his color, it was purple, black, and red! How did he have all these colors? Why was this happening? What's wrong? Something was very wrong!

"S-stop...stop it!"

The man growled, his arm snapping to the bed and clawing at the sheets, clinging to them with his one arm in an attempt to pull himself up.

"You Stay away from me, girl!" He hissed like a demon, looking at her with wild, red eyes. The girl backed up, her lower lip trembling.

"S-stop its Mr. B-"

"Stay away!" He roared at her, jolting her so hard she began to cry.

The pain came back again. He yelled loudly, causing her to shriek. His hands clawed at his scalp; this ache was one of his worsts. Uno fell back, covering her ears.

He started breaking things and smashing things into the walls whilst on the floor while the little girl sobbed loudly, agitating the situation.

"Stop!" She screeched. "Stoooop! You gots stop Mr. Blue!" Grimmjow cried out again, and he had a reflex in his arm.

"Please!" She screamed hysterically.

He slammed the appendage against the wall, causing multiple cracks and I good sized dent in its wake.

She bent over, and tried desperately to cover her ears and eyes at the same time. "Stop it stop it stop it!"

The wooden table went next, breaking into splinters.

The little girl let an ear-splitting scream, tears flying, running over to the uncontrolled man as fast as she could.

"STOP!"

Her chubby arms wrapped around his sweaty neck in a death grip, and he could feel her snot and tears and hear her screams.

"No more! No mooore!" She sobbed. She hiccuped and sniffed loudly. "S-s-stop it y-you c-cants dos that h-h-here! Don't h-hurt-  
y-y-you cants hurt t-that don't!" Her voice shook uncontrollably, her words slurred, frantic, and incoherent.  
"D-don't... do it I c-c-ca-ant-"she took three quick, hysterically charged breathes. "Don't br-break you! Stop it, please! Uuuo-o-o-hh!" She broke down again.

Grimmjow sat completely still, wide eyed. She cried and shrieked out tiny squeals and cries as she sobbed loudly. "Mr. Blue!" She cried. His eyes shot to her.

After a few minutes, she calmed down slightly. "Mr. B-b-blue..." She took a shaky breath. "You's o-okay?" He felt the tears wet his shoulder.

"I don' fuckin' know..." He choked.

"I-I w-wanna h-help y-you..." She shook. "B-but y-you s-scared U-u-uno..." She tightened up again. "D-don't scare Uno!" She moaned in a sob, her snot catching on Grimmjow's shirt.

"Don'ts do that a-again!"

"I can't help it." He growled, "I...can't help anythin' that I do."

She clung to his shirt.  
"U-uno is s-scared."

Grimmjow breathed out, letting his head hit the wall.

"Me too, kid."

That was one of there longest conversations, face to face like that. Grimmjow was convinced he didn't like the child, but was too weak to fully ignore her.

No more interactions. No more humans. He was tired of this cycle. He was convinced:

Once Orihime died, he would die too.

And that would be the end, how painfully sweet it would be...

Then that little girl kept showing up again and again while he was on his little trail towards death row, acting like he was normal, acting like he was worth helping.

Everyday she would force him to get up and eat his breakfast. He would walk down the long hallway, clad in clothes that he would usually wear for three or four days. He would numbly walk towards the breakfast hall, the girl would totter behind him. He wouldn't look at her, he refused to.

Because of her eyes, he was sure he hated her.

She was different, too. Rambling on about how she was seeing all these colors. Talking about "his color" and shit like that. All of it was sappy bullshit. A child's game.

They would sit at the table, and she would chatter on like no tomorrow. Her speech was obviously impaired, and she stuttered and rambled. Not like Grimmjow was particularly listening.

"And then-and then kitty went zoooom!" She raised her arms and clacked her silverware together. "And food went everywhere!" She exclaimed dramatically. "Boom boom boom!"

Grimmjow chewed silently.

XxX

"Oooh! Your color blue!" She pointed to the nurse.

"Oh! Wow Uno!" The nurse, praised. "Now what does that mean?"

"Means you ok! You all good! Everything's fine! Sat-is-fied! She swung her arms around.

The nurse chuckled lightly. "That's very good to know... how is Grimmjow-San doing with you, Uno?" She sat across from Uno, a pen and pad in her hand.

The girl swung her legs happily. "We talking all the time! We is so fun!"

"We eat breakfast... And-and thens we talking some more...He so quiets and polite and never-er interrupts. Mr. Blue always listens!"

Her smile faded into a thoughtful expression. "B-but...s-sometimes he can't listen."

"What do you mean, Uno?"

"S-sometimes...m-mr. Blue get scared and h-he don't talk...and he start shaking real hard and he won' talk." She furrowed her brow.

"Others times he starting to scream, and he hurts. Mr. Blue tells Uno to stays away, so she does. Uno hides with Wilbert in closet and cover ears."  
She enthusiastically demonstrated by covering up her ears then  
"See!"

"Yes, I do see."

"He starting dreaming and he don' wanna wake up. I thinks he like dreaming."

"W-what do you mean, dreaming?" The nurse became anxious and nervous.

"Hehe...now your color pink!" The girl pointed.

"That's very nice Uno, But I need to know more about this Mr. Blue."

Uno thought. "I think he likes pretty lady. Uno thinks he thinks about the pretty lady a lot."

Grimmjow was petting the kitten absentmindedly, staring out the window. He found being around the cat somewhat relaxing, for no reason in particular.

The worst part about this was that he had been making no process. He had been sitting on his ass having a panic attack for around 8 months now. Thinking about her was bad. Thinking nothing, well that was good to him.

Was there any motivation to try? She would most likely die, that's what the doctors told him. They said she had a weak heart.

He had suddenly lost it then, screamed desperately back, calling them liars. She had the strongest heart he had ever known. None of them knew the shit she had gone through, the pain. She didn't deserve it.

If only they could switch places. If only she was happy. Was that his sole purpose now? Maybe his body was just foolish, and it allowed his heart to cloud his mind. Maybe that's why he was suffering so, because he was an idiot.

His thoughts were interrupted when the little girl burst into the room.

"Rain!"

"Rain rain rain!" She jumped around. "It finally raining!" She ran out of the room.

Rain.

It hadn't been raining for 3 months. Now that he though about it, it had been 3 months since he found out about Orihime being alive, and meeting Uno.

Grimmjow stood as still as a statue, unable to move. Rain. The thing that connects the earth to the ground. The thing that she said.

"Come on!" Uno had appeared again. "Come on come on come on!"

Grimmjow stood silently, his head bowed. She waited for him, but he didn't reward her with a response.

She grabbed his hand and led him out of the door and down the hallway. "Let's go!" She squealed, laughing. "Let's go see the rain!"

She slid the door open, and they stepped out together. Grimmjow inhaled The smell of rain and wet nature, still unusual to him.

Rain. Was it terrible? He supposed it was. Something that only happened in the human world, trillions upon trillions of tiny droplets hitting the ground; a phenomena that rarely occurred in his lifetime. Something special...

He felt the little girl let go, her fingers slip from his large ones.

He watched her toddle out into the rain, squealing and stopping when she felt the wetness. She looked down, the back up at the sky. She smiled, holding out her arms and blinking, letting the drops soak her.

She looked behind her innocently, her wet strings of hair flying about. She looked at him. His blue eyes widened, and there was a blast of colors.

Orange hair flew about. The woman clung to his hand, laughing as she led him out in the rain.

Her silver eyes sparkled, and she didn't care about the rain, or how it soaked her. She smiled one of her biggest, her hair and face dripping.

Her shoes flew off, and she ran, her dull, oversized jacket flying behind her. She laughed and danced.

"Come on!" He thought she said, but he somehow couldn't hear her.

She then jumped high, bringing her legs up, her hair flying up as she prepared to hit the puddle beneath.

Suddenly, his vision blurred, and her figure contorted. He was brought back into reality, and suddenly it wasn't Orihime who was about to jump into the puddle, it was the little girl. Uno's boots hit the water, and it sprayed around her.

Grimmjow hissed in a breath.

The girl screamed in delight, dancing, laughing. "Come on!" She shouted above the rain. "Come on Mr. Blue."

"I can't go out there." He mumbled.

"What? What's you says?" The girl shouted back.

"I can't." He swallowed.

Uno ran up to him, her boots squishing in the mud. "Come on!" She yelled breathlessly. "Les go! Les go!"

"I can't."

"Why not!"

"Because its the thing that connects two hearts together!" He blurted.

The little girl actually went silent for a few seconds. Like she could understand.

"You means our hearts, Mr. Blue?"

Grimmjow looked at her with wide eyes.

"It connect Boths of us hearts!" She clapped her hands. "Right?"

She whined when he didn't respond. "Sit down!" She screeched in commandment. Grimmjow sat. She immediately clambered unto his dry lap, sticking her chubby hand out. Her tiny hand pressed unto his chest.

"See! See that your heart!" She looked at him with huge, round eyes.

He looked down, then back up at her, confusion in his eyes.

"Okay!" She reached down with one arm, grabbing for his enormous hand until finally she guided it up to her chest, her other hand still planted firmly on his.

"And this is mine! Feel mine?" She smiled. "My heart!" She giggled.

They stared at each other for. Few seconds, and Grimmjow could actually feel her tiny heartbeat, the tiny vessel that he could've so easily ripped out to inspect had he not been human.

"Everyday your color is red." She whispered.

Grimmjow looked up.

"Why you sad? Why you sad all da times? Y-you think that maybe d-da rain connects our hearts?"

Grimmjow's eyes widened as he looked at her.

"I hopes so!"

"I hopes so Mr. Blue!"

He really looked at her, then. Looked at her eyes. Those amazing silver orbs that saw all, full of wonderment.

He couldn't hate her. And he couldn't be afraid. This time, his fears, his human emotions; he would master them, just like the blade of the sword. Maybe he could try this time.

That's when he made a desicion, the first to ever make its way into his weakened heart.

He would take care of her.

She would be his, and nobody else would take her away.

This whole time he had been afraid, he realised. Afraid of getting friendly with anyone else because he didn't want to lose anyone ever again.

Maybe he would just...repay the debt...just like he did all those years ago for Orihime.

"I'll take care of ya." He looked the little girl in the eyes. She stared at him with her round orbs.

"I've made up my mind." The girl gasped when he felt his large hand rest on her head, her dark blue locks sticking up. "You're gonna stay with me now, you don't gotta worry about a home to stay at. You understand?"

The girls whole face lit up. She closed her eyes and let out a soft giggle. Her tiny hands met the large one upon her head.

"O-okay Mr. Blue! I'll stay with you now!"

Sometimes you don't know what something is until you've lost it. Before, Grimmjow didn't know what he even had to lose, until Orihime was alive, until Uno barged in. Now it was just him and her, against everything else. He was lost, near nothingness.

So why not?

The two figures, one big, one small, sat together while the rain continued to hit the ground.

XxX

_"If they only knew what went on inside my head, they would all run away.  
But you knew, and somehow you didn't leave me."_

**I SWARE TO HELL IF GRIMMJOW DOESN'T COME BACK IN THE MANGA I AM GOING TO KILL SOMEONE. just saying.**

**ALERT ALERT ALERT!  
Everyone on the face of the planet needs to read the fanfic titled "Behind Blue Eyes"  
It's a Grimmhime fanfic and I don't care if you don't ship Grimmhime it will still break your fucking heart so you better read it because it is literally the most amazing story I've ever read.**

**Um it would also be cool if you guys reviewed!?**


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